Living fully through death awareness, one conversation at a time
Death Cafe
Living fully through death awareness, one conversation at a time
Death Cafe is a free monthly meetup held online via Zoom the first Thursday of the month from 6pm to 8pm (PT). Death Cafe is an international movement founded in England by Jon Underwood in 2011. Their website can be found at deathcafe.com.
Death Cafe is a place where we gather as equals in a relaxed setting to talk about death and dying. It is an inclusive and confidential space where people of all communities, ages and belief systems can openly express whatever is up for them around the topic of death and dying. In person, this would involve refreshments of hot drinks and baked goods being made available. Online, you are encouraged to provide your own nourishment.
What to expect: The conversation will consist of one person talking at a time, with other participants actively listening until it is clear they are complete. Like other spaces in which a specific container of safety and respect is desired, we speak about our own personal thoughts and experiences, and don’t cross talk. This separates the space from some casual conversational styles because we do not directly reference nor comment upon each other’s sharing in a back and forth way. This supports a sense of safety without worrying about what sorts of comments people will have about what we say. The rule for no cross talking means you will not have to manage efforts of others to change your experience through comforting, giving information, nor offering unsolicited advice in response to what you say. Long periods of silence are encouraged instead. We suggest pausing at least 8 seconds after someone has finished speaking to help ensure what is said next is not cross talking in response to, nor about, what has been said by someone else.
“1.3 It’s also worth stating here what Death Cafes is not:
• Death Cafe is not a bereavement support or grief counselling setting. Death Cafe doesn’t work for people who, for whatever reason, aren’t able to discuss death comfortably and openly. There are many projects better set up for this.
• Death Cafes aren’t an opportunity to give people information about death and dying – regardless of how good or important it is. Rather we create time to discuss death without expectations. For this reason having guest speakers and information materials available is actively discouraged.
• Death Cafe doesn’t work as a method of community engagement, research or consultation. It shouldn’t be used for these purposes.
We have established this structure to keep Death Cafe positive. This is also to prevent the use of this concept by those with an interest in leading people to conclusions, products or a specific course of action.”
In order to respect the importance of Death Cafe not being a space for leading others to any particular conclusion nor course of action, it’s requested to keep this in mind and refrain from attending Death Cafe seeking to educate nor looking for informational questions to be answered. There are other resources and groups more suitable for information exchanges of that kind.
This event is hosted by Kristin Markling and co-facilitated by Ryy Strife.
This free community event is open to all. Registration is encouraged, but not required after initial registration.
This series, like many Rewild Portland programs, is made possible through sustaining monthly donations from dedicated supporters of our mission. To become a monthly supporter or to make a one-time donation, check out our donation page. To get involved with volunteering, please see our volunteer opportunities page.
Death Cafe
Living fully through death awareness, one conversation at a time
Death Cafe
Living fully through death awareness, one conversation at a time
Death Cafe is a free monthly meetup held online via Zoom the first Thursday of the month from 6pm to 8pm (PT). Death Cafe is an international movement founded in England by Jon Underwood in 2011. Their website can be found at deathcafe.com.
Death Cafe is a place where we gather as equals in a relaxed setting to talk about death and dying. It is an inclusive and confidential space where people of all communities, ages and belief systems can openly express whatever is up for them around the topic of death and dying. In person, this would involve refreshments of hot drinks and baked goods being made available. Online, you are encouraged to provide your own nourishment.
What to expect: The conversation will consist of one person talking at a time, with other participants actively listening until it is clear they are complete. Like other spaces in which a specific container of safety and respect is desired, we speak about our own personal thoughts and experiences, and don’t cross talk. This separates the space from some casual conversational styles because we do not directly reference nor comment upon each other’s sharing in a back and forth way. This supports a sense of safety without worrying about what sorts of comments people will have about what we say. The rule for no cross talking means you will not have to manage efforts of others to change your experience through comforting, giving information, nor offering unsolicited advice in response to what you say. Long periods of silence are encouraged instead. We suggest pausing at least 8 seconds after someone has finished speaking to help ensure what is said next is not cross talking in response to, nor about, what has been said by someone else.
From the website for deathcafe.com:
“1.3 It’s also worth stating here what Death Cafes is not:
• Death Cafe is not a bereavement support or grief counselling setting. Death Cafe doesn’t work for people who, for whatever reason, aren’t able to discuss death comfortably and openly. There are many projects better set up for this.
• Death Cafes aren’t an opportunity to give people information about death and dying – regardless of how good or important it is. Rather we create time to discuss death without expectations. For this reason having guest speakers and information materials available is actively discouraged.
• Death Cafe doesn’t work as a method of community engagement, research or consultation. It shouldn’t be used for these purposes.
We have established this structure to keep Death Cafe positive. This is also to prevent the use of this concept by those with an interest in leading people to conclusions, products or a specific course of action.”
In order to respect the importance of Death Cafe not being a space for leading others to any particular conclusion nor course of action, it’s requested to keep this in mind and refrain from attending Death Cafe seeking to educate nor looking for informational questions to be answered. There are other resources and groups more suitable for information exchanges of that kind.
This event is hosted by Kristin Markling and co-facilitated by Ryy Strife.
This free community event is open to all. Registration is encouraged, but not required after initial registration.
This series, like many Rewild Portland programs, is made possible through sustaining monthly donations from dedicated supporters of our mission. To become a monthly supporter or to make a one-time donation, check out our donation page. To get involved with volunteering, please see our volunteer opportunities page.